Diary Entry 30th Oct 2009
I bet your probably wondering what decision I made huh? I bet you’re probably thinking I chickened out and told him I couldn’t make it? Or I bet you were thinking, “Of course she went round to the hotel – she couldn’t wait to drop her knickers.” Well I can honestly say...you’re wrong! I took so long to reply to his message that he assumed I was up for the idea. Six o’clock came and went and I was still @ the office. He called me a few times to ask where I was and if everything was ok. I told him it was, but up until then I was so swamped with work I forgot all about it. (He had some nerve anyway – just coming back into my life like that as though nothing happened!) Anyway, by the time he got off the phone I figured - why not.
I met him in the lobby of the hotel at about 6:45pm. He brought me down to the bar and brought me a cocktail.
“First let me tell you how sorry I am. I had no business acting that way. What you and Steven get up to in your relationship is no business of mine.”
I was so taken aback. I figured he’d try and pretend the whole thing never happened.
“So are admitting you were somewhat jealous that Steven and I were going away for the weekend.” I asked. “Not jealous.” He said. “...just annoyed.”
“But why though?” I asked knowing the possible answer. “Trina you were just sitting there speaking about it as if nothing else mattered. I was beginning to think you were trying to hurt me on purpose – couldn’t you see the hurt come over my face?” He said looking me square in the eye. I couldn’t believe it. Well for one, I didn’t think he would've been so honest. And two, I really didn’t think he cared so much.
“Well, Carl...” I began, “I didn’t realise you felt that way. At the time I thought we were OK to discuss such things. I suppose now I know not-“
“Now don’t go changing who you are for me. All that was my issue.” He said, cutting me off. “I’m over it now. And I promised myself I would never allow myself to get like that again. I realise how much you meant to me while I was away and even if we can’t be anything more – I still want us to be friends.”
I was gobsmacked.
TO BE CONTINUED
