Diary Entry 21th Oct 2009
I asked myself – “What do I have to give to get an answer – what?” But no answer came. So instead I decided to just do nothing. Concentrate on all the things that I love to do most, like hang with my friends, get on with my work and most of all spend time with my lover... Steven. I was doing pretty well; I really started to feel as though it was working for me, I was finally moving on.
I had a really good weekend too. The club was full of vibes I hadn’t heard in a long time. My work week has been going well so far. I got top praise for negotiating my way through a business meeting at work (handling accounts can be tricky business), I even received double bonuses. Everything was going great until..., Carl texted me.
Out of nowhere! Just like that - out of the blue! Just when I was becoming OK with the idea he’d gone for good. Now I don't know what to do. What do you think I should do? He said he wanted to talk to me – but don’t worry, I haven’t replied yet. I’m just wondering whether I want to get back into all that again. But in the same breath I want to know what the bleeding hell got into him. So I’m sitting here with my phone in my hand wondering whether to replay or not.
Why is it when you finally moved on, they come running back? And why is it that absents really makes the heart grow funder? In the text he sent me it simply said;
I KNOW YOU MUST BE MAD AT ME, I'M SORRY. WE NEED TO TALK. MEET ME IN MALMAISONS’ HOTEL LOBBY 2DAY @ 6pm. TEXT BK BY 4 IF YOU CAN’T MAKE IT, OTHERWISE I’LL ASSUME IT’S A DATE. HOPFULLY I’LL SEE YOU THEN. XX.
I mean - who does he think he is? And yet I’m so tempted to go, just to see what his got up his sleeve. I’ve got four hours to make up my mind.
